Monthly Archives: August 2011

Aug7

Preperation For Our Journey…….

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Preperation For Our Journey…….

First things first…..we need to prepare .we’re going to be on this lifelong journey for many years so there needs to be a few rules…..these are some of mine.

1. Carry light, no unnecessary baggage..Leave what you can do without behind!! 

2. No1 needs to be taking steps back…  Make the most of each destination, write about it, take pictures, save memories because if you move on forward that destination or something similar may never be on the path ahead. 

3. Bring your loved ones along with you, but leave behind the people that will not embrace this journey (After all it’s a ONCE in a lifetime opportunity!)

…..if you want to add some more or create your own rules from scratch by all means do this is your own journey. 

Ok so now we have that all clear….what’s the first step forward before we can leave……..FINDING YOU!! 

Raising your own self awareness and understanding who you really are is probably one of the most difficult tasks….but sadly its one that if you can’t overcome, the rest will only fall to parts…Your probably thinking what’s this girl been smoking…..BUT .getting to know someone else is definitely easier…we can watch them, listen to them and develop a relation with them, over a period of time, but how many of you do the above with yourself?? 

Be honest when getting to know yourself…..i like to tell myself I’m patient BUT I know that’s a lie!! And its only holding me back from learning techniques in how I can be patient!

Where do your strengths lie? and where do your weaknesses fail you? Keep it noted somewhere…because no doubt throughout this journey, it will be a good reminder to your compass as to where you actually need to be heading! 

The qualities we carry within ourselves determine how far we get and the stamina in which we need to progress! 

If you don’t know where to start……Honesty is a great one….ask your friends and family to help you…listen to what they say….ask for examples….but most of all remember all feedback is positive feedback!! Don’t take it to heart, the main reason in asking is for you to get a better understanding…if they only tell you what you want to hear the exercise is wasted! Schedule some time each week to spend with yourself. Think about issues in your life, which you are not clear on, and work on clarifying your feelings.

Once you’ve come to the conclusion of what your strengths and weaknesses … abilities and bad habits are…..keep it somewhere safe….and focus on one at a time…there not running away anywhere.  
So here is where I would normally put a quote but on this particular topic I have far too many favourites so here’s a few!! 

Man cannot remake himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor.  ~Dr. Alexis Carrel

The greatest explorer on this earth never takes voyages as long as those of the man who descends to the depth of his heart.  ~Julien Green

The value of identity of course is that so often with it comes purpose.  ~Richard Grant

All men should strive, to learn before they die, what they are running from, and to, and why.
~James Thurber

If you don’t get lost, there’s a chance you may never be found.  ~Author Unknown
Aug4

Life Is A Journey……Join Me

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Life Is A Journey……Join Me

 Life is a journey…..for some it’s a great one with fine wines and expensive holidays on the other hand for some it’s the uphill trek to the job centre. 

We all play a part in our own destiny, we all get a choice to decide where we end up, we all start the journey with strong hopes and good intentions but it’s the fine wine drinkers (not literally I personally don’t like wine lol) that make it there!!

I’ve started my journey, I’ve taken a few detours and ended up lost…but we all know that detours turn out to be short cuts!! 

Embrace your mistakes let the past deal with itself….’take care of the present because the present takes care of the future.’ 

Where do you want your journey to end up?? It doesn’t have to necessarily be a career or materialistic motivated goal it could be ANYTHING…..How do you see yourself in 50 years time…..how can you get there?? 

If you feel you haven’t made very good progress as yet within your journey, your lost and need some company until you find your route or even your interested in seeing how you can make your journey a pleasanter experience …Join me…within the next few weeks my blog will be based on breaking down ideas…achievements….aims and ways for all of us to keep heading in the right direction…BUT meanwhile maintaining a HAPPY attitude whilst doing this….with the help of a few books I’m reading and my passion for writing….we can do this together!! 

Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb. 

- Sir Winston Churchill
Aug2

Me, Myself & I (2007)

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Me, Myself & I (2007)
Heres something i have recently found while trudging through my folders of various writing. I started to write a book in 2007 and heres a little chapter of it….its unfinished but thought it would be intresting read for you guys mabe youu’ll get an insight as to how i viewed things 4 years ago! ENJOY 
Chapter one

Life strains the best of people but somehow we always manage to get through it, why is that? Because everybody has somebody even if its un-requited love, everyone always has someone they can depend on. 

2007 anyone can do what they want nothing in this day an age is impossible and as an individual stuck out in this big bad cold world what corner do you start from?  Who’s going to guide you, who’s going to pay your way?

Most people go through adolescents flitting in and out of relationships lusting for infatuation, that special person that they will spend the rest of time with, but yet still in the corner of there minds they know full well that it’s a phase and its all about ‘life’ experiences. Years ago young couples at 17 were tying the knot grasping hold of that feeling in fright of war and loosing loved ones. Life wasn’t as world wide and everything was minimal job opportunities weren’t as common. The purpose of life was to breed and carry the family name. Now teens of today have so many different expectations frustration and confusion it’s causing them to make decisions they possible can’t make.

Love

Love……under-rated, over rated but whatever it is we can’t live without it.

One of my own single handily favourite quote is: The heart that pumps our very own blood around our very own body to survive is the symbol of love could this portray we need love to survive? By Kat Walker

Why do we hunger for passion, comfort and warmth? To make the time we have on this earth as meaningful as we can. Are we to scared to walk through life alone that much so we settle for 2nd best? Becoming dependent on someone we don’t actually want to share life with! If we had our desired ‘soul mate’ there would be no dependency what so ever it would be team work, nothing would be a task or a chore it would be a luxury! (I mean we all know it doesn’t work that way but in an ideal world that’s how it is)

The norm “relationship” it always follows a very basic and ‘regular’ pattern. Create and physical attraction with the desired opposite, talk about mundane meaningless facts about yourself in hope the other will clasp onto one or two of these and become interested, create time to be around each other, dining, cinema I figured on the first ‘date’ people like to venture out maybe  this avoids silent moments? When physical and mental attraction is initiated, after follows the crucial decision point intercourse (the closet you can and could be with a person) relationship or no relationship? (of course this is a very basic analysis)

The way I approach this whole ‘relationship’ fiasco is………too many people hold back what they want and get it confused for what they need. You want chocolate cake but you need a salad, what would make you happier. You want this person but you need more time, time for what, figure them out get an understanding of how capable the person is of hurting that very heart that in theory will die eventually?

Why are you scared of being hurt? Will it ruin your pride, image, dignity or respect? No and the reason being if you had any or all of them then you created them independently for yourself. True factors of those things can only be made by you and there placed in your mind, body and soul nobody can rob what’s been installed into you only you can rob it from yourself.

The worst kind of pain is the emotional type, a bruise fades a cut heals but love burns the heart leaving wounds for you alone to heal and if you have pride and dignity you will do it alone and if you have an image you won’t let anyone see its getting to you and last but not least if you have respect fr yourself you’ll give the other person respect for their decision.

When the same thing is important everyday that means it’s a part of you. What you can live without tomorrow you can live without forever. 

Did your heart really get ‘broken’? If your heart ‘broke’ I’m sure you would be 10ft under the soil.  Is it really hard to find happiness? What makes you smile, what opens your eyes to reality ?
Aug2

Resilience……..

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Resilience……..

I’m very aware of my own ‘coping mechanism’ I wouldn’t say It was the best way but it’s gotten me this far…Deal with the situation however you feel fit at that precise time and then neatly wedge it into the smallest hole within the brain matter that kindly forgets the difficult things you want to remove….Emotions, moments, experiences, people etc…I personally like to conclude whatever it is that has me wanting to remove it but sometimes this is not always a possibility. 

The only other way to deal with these matters is to see them through. I can only do this with things I can’t live without…but the way society is ever changing we’re all starting to live with the mindset that we can survive independently. The only thing that CANNOT be replaced is family. We can hunt down happiness, success, fortune, love etc in many different places from many different people but at the same time we can throw all of this away…so how do we decide what we treasure for our lifetime? 

I am a resilient person (I bounce back from what’s been thrown at me) whether it be work, family, friends, motherhood, health or relationship problems somehow something positive always comes out of it and its identifying that something and focussing on just that. 

‘Resilience in psychology is the positive capacity of people to cope with stress and adversity. This coping may result in the individual “bouncing back” to a previous state of normal functioning, or using the experience of exposure to adversity to produce a “steeling effect” and function better than expected (much like an inoculation gives one the capacity to cope well with future exposure to disease)’

How do we identify our own individual resilience? What’s our personal tipping point? I’m going to write list to try and identify how I am resilient and what I can’t seem to handle….some people have an image of themselves that probably doesn’t exist from an outsiders perceptive. So be honest with yourself….most of us shy away from who we truly are because we’re afraid of what we’ll become and in this scenario its exactly those types of people that should identify themselves, if you don’t know who you are how do you expect other people too.  Lying about your strengths and flaws will in turn be a lot harder to deal with….eventually you’ll get so lost in who you want to be you won’t know who you actually are.